The other 'WOMAN'

I watched a show today about this and had mixed feelings about the topic, I've unfortunately been both the woman and the other woman and either way it's not a pretty sight, It's so easy to obsess about the other woman , assume she's the reason he's with you, accept that he loves her and loves you too for different reasons in different ways but who are we fooling? In both situations I've discovered that it remains a big blow to the ego...what's wrong with me? what does she do better than me? where did I go wrong? How UN-desirable could i have suddenly become that would propel him into the arms of another woman? And as the other woman? Why won't he leave her? i don't want to be the reason he leaves her, I don't want to take away her happiness yet I love him so much!

No matter how many times i go over the motions I realise that it's no fun being any of those women, the one he's cheating on and the one he's cheating with ,cause like it or not we are both being cheated, we are cheating ourselves by being with someone who doesn't respect us enough to care about how these actions will hurt our feelings, cheating myself by settling for less and shame on me for sharing another woman's man....BUT, when he declares his love, when he seems so needy like he can't go on without me, like i complete him then he turns round to tell her how he can't live without her cooking, while he's getting the best of both worlds , she gets the 'ideal' world I....get..... 'nothing'! I've found out that women go through mostly the same emotions in this situation, you feel betrayed , devastated, alone, where do i go from here? how do I move on without my soul mate, was he really my soul mate?If he wasn't why did it feel so great and at what point did Mr right become Mr-got -to get-gone?

I've heard how they keep telling us these lies to keep us available , where they want us to be, if he cheated with me he will cheat on me?Is that always the case? Or is he thinking that I'd probably cheat on him too if he tried to get serious?Is that why we can't be in a real relationship? For how long am I going to keep the hope alive? even if he wants to be alone does it mean he wants to be with me?, I also remember hating the other woman and wondering how she could be so heartless, but I'm not heartless i just fell in love with him, and i would never want to hurt you but I am in too deep, How can she look me in the face and smile and then go behind my back for stolen moments....when I look in your face I feel numb, I want what you have but I can only get a fraction so somehow I feel like I haven't entirely robbed you of anything!

Yet every time he beckons I find it hard to resist him, not to believe he's sincere but every time he declares his love , I find it hard to trust him, to believe he's sincere....this is sooo wrong, Why can't we all just be in a happy, realistic for real relationship and be fulfilled, I don't like being the woman that is being cheated on and I don't like being the woman he's cheating with either, I don't want to be called the OTHER!!!!!!!