Almost doesn't count.....

The tears have become my bestfriend, knowing when to stop , keeping my secrets....none of this is new to me, i knew before i knew and i boasted to myself that i would get over the pain and do it all over again if i could...well i didnt anticipate that my heart would fall ill , it aches it cries it stifles it basically remains in constant pain! what am i afraid of? Why do we even fall in love? Why does it hurt so bad still? i am not going to lie to myself anymore...not going to paint you as a saint to make the fantasies more romantic,,,,dude u played me period!!!!!

How could you trivialise something that means so much to me?how could you not see that i give everything to you? guess its my fault for doing that though , i knew the deal but yet i let my heart fall deep and my head roll tumbling after..Lord help me heal! sometimes the tears well up so much but its too painful to cry and you! you? all you do is act like there is nothing underneath the look on my face , its always been a lose lose for me and here you are smiling all the way....i hate to believe that i was happy being second maybe even fifth best , but having to move on this way makes everything seem really worthless....i almost loved you for the rest of my life but ......

Say Something?

Is it in the open ended questions or the indirect acknowledgement? Have you already told me what I need to know or am I refusing to face the truth? I've asked you before but you keep making excuses...

I need to know what you are not saying? Is it finally over? Have you made up ur mind about the future, do you think if you don't tell me i'll just figure it out and go away? Is it this space tearing this apart, am I over reacting again? I need guidance, I need to know what to do!