undecided!

My love!I'm in that space again, wanting to go but needing a reason to knowing full well I should just step! Why wait for a reason when the reason would do more damage than good? Yet my optimism makes a mockery of me, stay ke? Are you suicidal? But I'm happy! I lie I'm confused, confused about what the future has in store for me, where is the love of my life if you are not him? I want you to be him but really must I give you up to truly know?

Can't help wondering from time to time, staying happy with just 'bring' but sometimes I can't help wondering if its all worth it! I lie again... I know I would do it all again in a new York minute but baby don't I deserve more?