Whatever Moments ....

I told you I couldn't believe a word you said anymore, how did we become that? You say you love me so much
Yet you betray me without a thought! I'm no saint, never said I was. But twice I slipped
Cos I thought what your actions were saying is that WE are through! I've been alone so
Many times in this realtionship and all I wanted was for you to see me...REALLY see me!

And the times you acted like you did see me I didn't believe you because you had mastered the
Art of pretending like your distractions were really nothing but I FEEL different! Why should love hurt
This much? And you act like it bothers you but D minutes you're ready to raise another skirt?
Is that love?

Yesterday for the first time even though I couldn't say it out loud I wrote that I couldn't do tis anymore
I thought I was strong enough to keep taking the emotional punches, the pain never stops its just
A momentary high and my resolve has weakened I am not a hard woman...NO .. I am not superwoman not with you
At so many other things I'm in control I'm capable but you've broken down my every wall
I am now so vulnerable, weak, afraid, insecure, paranoid!!! I don't like this woman! I don't want to be a mess
Just because I fell in love I don't want to become a shadow!

You do what you do because you can, I tried to be you but I really can't! I compare every word
Every gesture, I even miss your snoring when I hear quiet! But so far since yesterday every tear that has
Tried to make an appearance falls back and is stuck in my eyes, why? Does it know something I don't? Is the end
Of US a beginning I should be happy to embrace? I took myself out of the equation so I don't
Have to feel the pain when you inevitably betray me again, if you owe me nothing
Then I will feel nothing... At least that's my logic ! Gosh so its finally over?
FOUR YEARS!!!! I can feel how removed from reality I am right now my words are struggling
To make sense. I love you I always will but our "whatever" moments have drowned what was...