I told you I couldn't believe a word you said anymore, how did we become that? You say you love me so much
Yet you betray me without a thought! I'm no saint, never said I was. But twice I slipped
Cos I thought what your actions were saying is that WE are through! I've been alone so
Many times in this realtionship and all I wanted was for you to see me...REALLY see me!
And the times you acted like you did see me I didn't believe you because you had mastered the
Art of pretending like your distractions were really nothing but I FEEL different! Why should love hurt
This much? And you act like it bothers you but D minutes you're ready to raise another skirt?
Is that love?
Yesterday for the first time even though I couldn't say it out loud I wrote that I couldn't do tis anymore
I thought I was strong enough to keep taking the emotional punches, the pain never stops its just
A momentary high and my resolve has weakened I am not a hard woman...NO .. I am not superwoman not with you
At so many other things I'm in control I'm capable but you've broken down my every wall
I am now so vulnerable, weak, afraid, insecure, paranoid!!! I don't like this woman! I don't want to be a mess
Just because I fell in love I don't want to become a shadow!
You do what you do because you can, I tried to be you but I really can't! I compare every word
Every gesture, I even miss your snoring when I hear quiet! But so far since yesterday every tear that has
Tried to make an appearance falls back and is stuck in my eyes, why? Does it know something I don't? Is the end
Of US a beginning I should be happy to embrace? I took myself out of the equation so I don't
Have to feel the pain when you inevitably betray me again, if you owe me nothing
Then I will feel nothing... At least that's my logic ! Gosh so its finally over?
FOUR YEARS!!!! I can feel how removed from reality I am right now my words are struggling
To make sense. I love you I always will but our "whatever" moments have drowned what was...
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For every weakness Christ shall be your Strength,
His Refuge your portion at susceptible/vulnerable times,
The fear of the Lord shall be your portion and keep you from evil,
His guiding hand shall be for you security,
You would not be put to shame & fear shall not overshadow you whether sudden or gradual,
The Lord who is jealous over you shall quiet you with His Love.
Love is not denied you... what you let go returns to you after many days. You don't determine how or when this happens but the Custodian of the Truth would always be there by you and makes this determination.
Do not be down - the future for you is goodly and your weakness is turning to strength. Do not despair, it is well with your soul.
You must now start looking at yourself less, not the fear/ insecurity/paranoia/loneliness or any other thing.
As you behold Him, you are transformed and this has already started.
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