My love!I'm in that space again, wanting to go but needing a reason to knowing full well I should just step! Why wait for a reason when the reason would do more damage than good? Yet my optimism makes a mockery of me, stay ke? Are you suicidal? But I'm happy! I lie I'm confused, confused about what the future has in store for me, where is the love of my life if you are not him? I want you to be him but really must I give you up to truly know?
Can't help wondering from time to time, staying happy with just 'bring' but sometimes I can't help wondering if its all worth it! I lie again... I know I would do it all again in a new York minute but baby don't I deserve more?
Showing posts with label confusion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confusion. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
illusionary high!
Ok so i'm thinking this is just an illusion ' it must be... All this contentment is not quite wat I'm used to, extra attention, declarations which cannot be faulted guess its by default, let's just let it ride, enjoy it while we can right? Who is to say these affections aren't dying a natural death already?
I suppose I'm a bit confused at this sudden surge of happiness, nothing to worry about or is there? Should I be detaching myself in readiness for the eventual seperation? I really don't know, yet I keep getting the idea that the change dat so often comes my way is almost here, I used to dread it, cry my heart out, stay gloomy and try to figure it all out but alas! My friend change... You remain faithful!
Lately I've thought of ways to work on me for me, I want my drive back, I want to see the vision clearly, where am I headed? Where is that excitement that spurs me on? I've been so afraid of everything, I've been afraid of being afraid, I get the feeling fear is a mere distraction so go on, just do it, but somehow the situation lacks method, where is th incentive, where do I belong? Do I constantly merge my dreams with my heart? C'mon Dreamgirl you know better!
I need a plan, I have goals already and I've been in the fantasy world that we can achieve them together, but no personal goals are just that... Personal! And so I need to find where I belong, stop feeling alone, neglected, un-important, am I trying to be accepted by the rong people? I may genuinely like them but dat doesn't mean they have to reciprocate, where are MY friends?? Where do I belong? When will my morning come? When will I feel refreshed?
Substance is key and I need you Lord right now, show me this truth, show me my path according to your will, where my joys reside and where I belong I am trusting you, and as for my heart? You will be remembered but I need only one map right now... The one that leads me to re-discovering myself!
P.s don't you feel sometimes that our visions and experiences are like getting a pedicure? Lol, shedding off old skin constantly and revealing a smooth new you!
I suppose I'm a bit confused at this sudden surge of happiness, nothing to worry about or is there? Should I be detaching myself in readiness for the eventual seperation? I really don't know, yet I keep getting the idea that the change dat so often comes my way is almost here, I used to dread it, cry my heart out, stay gloomy and try to figure it all out but alas! My friend change... You remain faithful!
Lately I've thought of ways to work on me for me, I want my drive back, I want to see the vision clearly, where am I headed? Where is that excitement that spurs me on? I've been so afraid of everything, I've been afraid of being afraid, I get the feeling fear is a mere distraction so go on, just do it, but somehow the situation lacks method, where is th incentive, where do I belong? Do I constantly merge my dreams with my heart? C'mon Dreamgirl you know better!
I need a plan, I have goals already and I've been in the fantasy world that we can achieve them together, but no personal goals are just that... Personal! And so I need to find where I belong, stop feeling alone, neglected, un-important, am I trying to be accepted by the rong people? I may genuinely like them but dat doesn't mean they have to reciprocate, where are MY friends?? Where do I belong? When will my morning come? When will I feel refreshed?
Substance is key and I need you Lord right now, show me this truth, show me my path according to your will, where my joys reside and where I belong I am trusting you, and as for my heart? You will be remembered but I need only one map right now... The one that leads me to re-discovering myself!
P.s don't you feel sometimes that our visions and experiences are like getting a pedicure? Lol, shedding off old skin constantly and revealing a smooth new you!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Go Go... GO!
First you miss me then you don't! Then you love me now you won't! I don't believe men get that confused, I honestly feel like you are just being selfish , don't want to feel like you don't control my emotions anymore but should that be your motivation?
If I wanted to think like a woman in love I would assume you try hard but can't live without me but that would be your fault, cause reaching out to me and telling me how you miss me is just wrong,you don't need to be messing with my mind, yes it can be some form of relief , yay! I am missed! But you're probably missing all three of us so why should I feel special? Sometimes I think about u so much dat u call me , probably my subconcious summoning you, you don't even know why!
For the first time today I got a bit mad at this, yep! A week ago if you'd had said you missed me i'd be on a natural high all day, but you know wat? I miss you too! SO WHAT? It doesn't mean much to me anymore, empty words that lack promise, you miss me doesn't mean you going to leave HER or her for that matter! So why are you missing me?because I'm the stupid one dat takes all d stepping on? The one who will shamelessly go weak at d knees at ur touch?
You miss me??? So did you hit ur head? Am I suddenly ur soulmate? Are you going to declare emotions that u can't control anymore and put me outta my misery? If not then DUDE don't be missing me, I want all or nothing now so take a bow and just GO!
If I wanted to think like a woman in love I would assume you try hard but can't live without me but that would be your fault, cause reaching out to me and telling me how you miss me is just wrong,you don't need to be messing with my mind, yes it can be some form of relief , yay! I am missed! But you're probably missing all three of us so why should I feel special? Sometimes I think about u so much dat u call me , probably my subconcious summoning you, you don't even know why!
For the first time today I got a bit mad at this, yep! A week ago if you'd had said you missed me i'd be on a natural high all day, but you know wat? I miss you too! SO WHAT? It doesn't mean much to me anymore, empty words that lack promise, you miss me doesn't mean you going to leave HER or her for that matter! So why are you missing me?because I'm the stupid one dat takes all d stepping on? The one who will shamelessly go weak at d knees at ur touch?
You miss me??? So did you hit ur head? Am I suddenly ur soulmate? Are you going to declare emotions that u can't control anymore and put me outta my misery? If not then DUDE don't be missing me, I want all or nothing now so take a bow and just GO!
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