Go Go... GO!

First you miss me then you don't! Then you love me now you won't! I don't believe men get that confused, I honestly feel like you are just being selfish , don't want to feel like you don't control my emotions anymore but should that be your motivation?

If I wanted to think like a woman in love I would assume you try hard but can't live without me but that would be your fault, cause reaching out to me and telling me how you miss me is just wrong,you don't need to be messing with my mind, yes it can be some form of relief , yay! I am missed! But you're probably missing all three of us so why should I feel special? Sometimes I think about u so much dat u call me , probably my subconcious summoning you, you don't even know why!

For the first time today I got a bit mad at this, yep! A week ago if you'd had said you missed me i'd be on a natural high all day, but you know wat? I miss you too! SO WHAT? It doesn't mean much to me anymore, empty words that lack promise, you miss me doesn't mean you going to leave HER or her for that matter! So why are you missing me?because I'm the stupid one dat takes all d stepping on? The one who will shamelessly go weak at d knees at ur touch?

You miss me??? So did you hit ur head? Am I suddenly ur soulmate? Are you going to declare emotions that u can't control anymore and put me outta my misery? If not then DUDE don't be missing me, I want all or nothing now so take a bow and just GO!

I told you so

If my heart could speak...I can only imagine the words I would hear are "I told you so!I told you not to love him, I told you not to get so involved and imagine that you would just snap out of it , i told you not to let go , I screamed at you when he gave us butterflies, I knew it was the beginning of the end now i'm broken and you're aching all over if you would only listen when i told you to.....DAMN!

Does being in love have to hurt so bad? Or is that what happens when you love the wrong person? How can someone be almost perfect and still not right? I blame myself for this though, I knew very well it would never end right but i believed that the memories would be great enough to have been worth the pain but I missed one thought! i didn't realise how much pain i'd be dealing with, I have become almost numb, i day-dream myself to tears and then they refuse to drop, i just get all glassed up at the eyes and freeze at the thought of letting the emotions sink in, It's like i'm holding on to that last piece of you and once the tears come tumbling down i would fall completely apart, I hate the helplessness that comes with wondering what went wrong, when u decided you had had enough, when u got so infatuated with her that you just couldn’t get enough of her, it hurts to see you do all the things we did together , to imagine you were doing those same things with her, going to the same places trying to re-enact our memories, it makes it all seem less sacred, if there was magic was i the only one that felt it? Were your words ever true or u were just blinded by the moment and said things that you didn’t really feel? Am i just obsessing about you cause i know you’ll never be mine or cause we lived in a bubble and the reality would never have worked? I feel like i invested all this time for nothing, I also feel at times that its not my place to feel this way after all how do i want her to feel?what would she do if she knew half of what went on? Is this a typical case of what goes around comes around? Are we done for good this time? I know what you’re like when you want something and thats how i know you’re not wanting me right now, i’d like to scream this all out, yell my head off get you outta ny heart...cry!!!!! but i feel the pain more and more, think about you all the time, sometimes i'm stuck day dreaming so deep nothing around me exists , then i have to snap back to reality and let you go.....i won't know what to do with myself...i don't know what to do with myself...I MISS YOU.

It's not about the intimacy , i miss the companionship , I miss looking forward to doing absolutely nothing with you, guess that was the problem, that i would more often than not choose you over any other activity i might be interested in , It hurts now to think that you can move on without me, yeah life goes on but did it have to be that fast? how can you not feel what i felt and how could you throw it in my face like that??? I guess everybody has these moments , maybe cause this is the first time i’ve actually felt dumped!!! i don’t know, i cant remember the last time you left town without telling me, it feels so horrible to think that you can strike me outta your life that easily, so are you telling her all the things you used to tell me? Are you telling her about me too???? That would be crazy, do you feel bad about throwing it all in my face or you think this is the best way to help me get over you? Could you ever fall in love with her or are you in love already??? I love the jokes you used to tell me, the way you made me laugh, the excitement of just being together, i miss watching the movies in bed and singing that song, i hate that i miss you , i hate that i cant cry....i hate that i’ve been here so many times and now i know i’m not immune, i’m not that hard, or maybe i just fell hard, and i told you i didn’t want to get attached to you. I didn’t want to lose my self to this fantasy , i didn’t want to get stuck on you and left behind? Why didn’t you just tell me, i wonder if it would have been easier to get over you, sign language is not the same and although i sort of figured it out in the way you began to detach yourself i refused to believe it was over, i wanted you to say you had tried but couldn’t get over me i wanted you to miss me, i even wanted to make you jealous but i guess its a lot easier for you....

Are you doing all these things because you’ve made that decision and now you are running out of time and don’t want to feel like you are missing something? what about us? what about how i feel? No, i would hate for you to love me out of pity or even be with me because you didnt want to hurt my feelings, guess this is the best way then, abrupt and effective, maybe it'll work , maybe it'll take longer for me to deal with it , but i'm on this lonely road again , don't want or need any shoulders to cry on cause i want you , but wanting you would never be real , true love doesn't live in a bubble .....I wish I was stone hearted like you thought I was but i'm only human and i told you SO!!!!