Ok so i'm thinking this is just an illusion ' it must be... All this contentment is not quite wat I'm used to, extra attention, declarations which cannot be faulted guess its by default, let's just let it ride, enjoy it while we can right? Who is to say these affections aren't dying a natural death already?
I suppose I'm a bit confused at this sudden surge of happiness, nothing to worry about or is there? Should I be detaching myself in readiness for the eventual seperation? I really don't know, yet I keep getting the idea that the change dat so often comes my way is almost here, I used to dread it, cry my heart out, stay gloomy and try to figure it all out but alas! My friend change... You remain faithful!
Lately I've thought of ways to work on me for me, I want my drive back, I want to see the vision clearly, where am I headed? Where is that excitement that spurs me on? I've been so afraid of everything, I've been afraid of being afraid, I get the feeling fear is a mere distraction so go on, just do it, but somehow the situation lacks method, where is th incentive, where do I belong? Do I constantly merge my dreams with my heart? C'mon Dreamgirl you know better!
I need a plan, I have goals already and I've been in the fantasy world that we can achieve them together, but no personal goals are just that... Personal! And so I need to find where I belong, stop feeling alone, neglected, un-important, am I trying to be accepted by the rong people? I may genuinely like them but dat doesn't mean they have to reciprocate, where are MY friends?? Where do I belong? When will my morning come? When will I feel refreshed?
Substance is key and I need you Lord right now, show me this truth, show me my path according to your will, where my joys reside and where I belong I am trusting you, and as for my heart? You will be remembered but I need only one map right now... The one that leads me to re-discovering myself!
P.s don't you feel sometimes that our visions and experiences are like getting a pedicure? Lol, shedding off old skin constantly and revealing a smooth new you!
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4 comments:
darling,in times like this,ur only support is god.he knows what he created u for,ur purpose and assignment.just trust him and keep seeking his face,and believe me,the vision would become really clear.i've been there b4 when my vision was blurred.but with god's help and inspirational materials(books and tapes)i discovered my vision.remain blessed
hmmmn....I concur with shalewa in all respects...I feel you should ride out every wave that there is.....and live your life to the full....
Hey,
I stumbled upon your blog and i feel for your heart break. Time is what you need. God created time to heal all wounds. End Communication with this person who doesn't love you enough to want ONLY you. One day you will wake up and the pain will be gone.
By lingering in your feelings, you are prolonging your healing phase.
Better yet, take a stroll to the bookstore and pick up a copy of "He's just not that into you."
Trust me, I've been there, I wokeup one day and couldn't remember the things that made me sad.
To quote Mary J. : "How can I love somebody else, if I can't love myslef enough to know...when its time, time to let goooooo."
@ Shalewa and Charizardn, Thank you i'm working on it and I truly believe my revelation is sooner than I think...
@Anonymous
Thanks for stopping by, trust me i have a copy of the book and any other chic lit help book u can imagine, reeling in quotes as i type..lol!
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