And its breaking my brains like crazy that's why I'm all torn up inside, I know I have a big heart that should be a good thing right? Bout it means it hurts twice as hard, who is this woman who sees thru your lies and loves you no less? ME. Who is this woman that wants to be acknowledged, loved, adored, touched fondly and treated like ur better half? ME. Why does it always feel like no matter how hard and fast I run at this race panting with exhaustion , hopeful cos there seems to be no one catching up and looking into your eyes and visualizing the eventual prize only to get to the finish line to discover someone started way ahead of me!
They say women who love the same man have a bitter kind of freemasonry, I couldn't agree. More, look how we flock together like his personal choir and he waves his arms as if to conduct our lives, emotions friendships? Ever so present in his harem not two but three and yet he fools is all, loving me loving u and YOU? Is that truly possible? Am I going against all I believe in settling for second best? Is ur middle name ma binu? At least if this was a reality show I would know we were doing it for sensationslity sake!"secrets of d sand", "rose", "young and restless" name them we are quite the team aren't we?
This roller coaster ride really sucks!And I still can't figure out why we bother holding on? I'm not the one for you, there is no forever but my heart feels dis connected when its not loving you, how did you become my best friend? Its funny how I know you more than you can ever imagine, maybe that's why you love me, you feel like you met your match but why do you want to keep stringing me along? I know this will continue to hurt and I might dare to say you are my true love but I won't call you my "the one" cos if I don't marry you and I can bet I won't then my husband will take that title lol! Damn! You make my emotions hop around like a yo yo, one minute I'm mad beyond redemption and d next I'm just ... Ok! Hmmmm my love my pain! My endless love !
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3 comments:
I really like this: "They say women who love the same man have a bitter kind of freemasonry"..very well said.
Arrggghh love and pain juxtaposed-makes things so complicaticated!
so it's all a lie.. u never really loved unconditionally and now choose not to do alot of what u wrote previously!!
u said u wld work at d challenges ahead but now u withdraw. u said u wld be perfectly happy to spend d rest of ur life with this person but back out now.
der were no other women loved like u & u were always loved exclusively as u urself attest to.
it's just a shame... u've had ur pity party and now u r not to be found anymore. unfortunately, someone loved u & stood by u all this time. it was here shortly after u started, it waited 4 u while u were away.
it was here after all ur friends stopped reading and was committed to u. it read everything u wrote & shared ur sorrow with u - not letting u grieve but reassuring.
it persevered d whole time (even when it appeared there was no gain for it) & gave counsel/encouragement but now u r unwilling.
it's just a shame and others must pick up the pieces. Just be careful next time and consider well before acting - u can make or break others thru ur actions!!
Hey nigeriandrama queen, Yep! it can be very excruciating, My child my pain, and altho i get really mad sometimes I'd love him all over again ansd still do just venting..lol!
My dear Anon.
I had no idea you misconsyrued my intentions, unconditional love does not dissappear and even people you love piss you off sometimes and yo might not like them very much then but you dont stop loving them....
I appreciate you stopping by and i must mention that the essence of this blog is to deal with my pain not to hide from it so when i'm being honest about my feelings remember that....
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