Just like a Hurricane!

I felt a little guilty today, maybe I made you stray but I know I didn't! You'd been straying long before I sought comfort in the arm of another and yet I'm feeling bad??? Doesn't even make sense! Shouldn't you be feeling bad at the thought of what you put me through? Yet you move on like I was bad weather and the seasons changed...another song dedicated to you JS "Hurricane"

HURRICANE

oh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

I can see it in his eyes (Oh I), and he's been avoiding me all day
It seems as though he wants to cry, (Oh, I) and he's been acting really strange
He starts talkin' and I tuned him out
It doesn't matter anyway
Because I knew as soon as I saw clouds, yea
I knew what he was gonna say

Cuz when the tears start flowin' and the wind starts blowin'
That's how you know its comin' for you
When the rain start fallin' and you feel the pain comin'
That's how you know its comin' for you

Just like a hurricane, just like a hurricane, the way you break everything that comes in your way
Just like a hurricane, Just like a hurricane, the way you broke my heart and now I'm left with the pain
After the hurricane

Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Baby I'm not surprised, Oh I
You said just what I thought you would
And it hurts I ain't gon' lie oh I
But it doesn't hurt as bad as it could

Cuz when the tears start flowin' and the wind starts blowin'
That's how you know its comin' for you
When the rain start fallin' and you feel the pain comin'
That's how you know its comin' for you (hey baby)

Just like a hurricane, just like a hurricane, the way you break everything that comes in your way
Just like a hurricane, Just like a hurricane, the way you broke my heart and now I'm left with the pain
After the hurricane

Now my life is shattered ,and I'm left to pick up the pieces
And find a new beginning and put it back together again
After the hurricane, the hurricane

Just like a hurricane, just like a hurricane, the way you break everything that comes in your way
Just like a hurricane, Just like a hurricane, the way you broke my heart and now I'm left with the pain
After the hurricane

Just like a hurricane, just like a hurricane, the way you break everything that comes in your way
Just like a hurricane, Just like a hurricane, the way you broke my heart and now I'm left with the pain
After the hurricane....

ITS OVER

Don't have that much to write, you started having another relationship right in my face, claim you needed a distraction but I just learnt the hard lesson I meant nothing to you...

So easy for you to cut me off , I'm weak right now but my strength will come, I will smile again ...

Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

I just realized I don't know this new U, here I was thinking I'd seen the worst
But uve invented a new way to hurt me, all u need now is a knife
So u can just stab me in the heart it already feels that way.
Alicia keys took some of d words out of my mind too shattered to say anything
Else but from d bottom of my chest (heart is ripped)... FUCK YOU!


Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
near me, touch me, feel me
And even in the bottom of the sea
I can still hear inside my head
Telling me, touch me, feel me
And all the time you were telling me lies

So tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well you can try sleeping in my bed
Lonely, only, nobody ever shut it down like you
You wore the crown, you make my body feel heaven-bound
Why don't you hold me, need me, I thought you told me
You'd never leave me

Looking in the sky I can see your face
And i knew right where I'd fit in
Take me, make me
You know that I'll always be in love with you
Right til the end

So tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Anybody could have told you right from the start
It's bout fall apart
So rather than hold onto a broken dream
Or just hold onto love
And I could find a way to make it
Don't hold on too tight
I'll make it without you tonight

So tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Whatever Moments ....

I told you I couldn't believe a word you said anymore, how did we become that? You say you love me so much
Yet you betray me without a thought! I'm no saint, never said I was. But twice I slipped
Cos I thought what your actions were saying is that WE are through! I've been alone so
Many times in this realtionship and all I wanted was for you to see me...REALLY see me!

And the times you acted like you did see me I didn't believe you because you had mastered the
Art of pretending like your distractions were really nothing but I FEEL different! Why should love hurt
This much? And you act like it bothers you but D minutes you're ready to raise another skirt?
Is that love?

Yesterday for the first time even though I couldn't say it out loud I wrote that I couldn't do tis anymore
I thought I was strong enough to keep taking the emotional punches, the pain never stops its just
A momentary high and my resolve has weakened I am not a hard woman...NO .. I am not superwoman not with you
At so many other things I'm in control I'm capable but you've broken down my every wall
I am now so vulnerable, weak, afraid, insecure, paranoid!!! I don't like this woman! I don't want to be a mess
Just because I fell in love I don't want to become a shadow!

You do what you do because you can, I tried to be you but I really can't! I compare every word
Every gesture, I even miss your snoring when I hear quiet! But so far since yesterday every tear that has
Tried to make an appearance falls back and is stuck in my eyes, why? Does it know something I don't? Is the end
Of US a beginning I should be happy to embrace? I took myself out of the equation so I don't
Have to feel the pain when you inevitably betray me again, if you owe me nothing
Then I will feel nothing... At least that's my logic ! Gosh so its finally over?
FOUR YEARS!!!! I can feel how removed from reality I am right now my words are struggling
To make sense. I love you I always will but our "whatever" moments have drowned what was...

Speechless.....

Two days ago I wrote a post I couldn't post, fate knew the story wasn't ready,Two days ago I felt it was for the right reasons but nemesis had a twist awaiting meI've never hated the ability to love no that's a gift but the stiffness in my chestMeans the pain is ever present! I suffer in silence and I'm drowning in the air aroundMe! Nobody understands how could they? They don't even know , where is the woman soFull of life so confident so sure? I refuse to accept this legacy of heartbreak but rightNow I know no different....I'm staring at this words as I write them and I feel like I'veBeen drugged, pain, memories,regret, betrayal,I see your eyes I remember the smell ofHer and I knew! Like I always know WHY WHY WHy, my soul is wailing I'm shaken toMy core but I can't utter a word, WHY? How do I care so much, why does this feel like a curse? Even if you were man enough toAdmit it, would it make a difference? You can't undo what has been done, I can un knowWat I know, I can't breathe , I can't think I have no one to hold me I have no one!You were supposed to be my rock, the smile at the corner of my lips I lived with uOn borrowed time I loved you like a fool giving no thought to building my life withoutYou, I gave u too much, I'm all spent...

Shades of grey...

I have thought about you a few times and didnt mind getting to know you, didnt mind being a part of your life forever ,but somehow I cant be that person right now, you probably will never understand and somewhere you will be watching me and wishing i would reconsider! I love you but love is not always enough, forgive me in advance for the things i might do to you that even I am not sure of yet but know this....You will always be in my heart!!!!

Again And Again...

The most confusing thing is to not know exactly how I feel, have I let you go? Was I about to? Am I mad because you seem to be doing it better than me? Should I be relieved that life goes on? Yet sad that I seem to be living a lonely one? I can't explain everything I'm feeling, resentment, guilt, confusion , hurt!

I should be all too familiar with these methods tho, the silence! I've been here, the distance I've been there , the loneliness? I live here! Asking everytime why you won't just put me out of my misery but you deny me closure maybe to save yourself from looking me in the eye? You are right in a sense and I don't want your pity! Neither do I want to be treated like a bad habit!

I can't explain what is left of what I felt or if its still real because the erratic mood swings just exhaust me, I'm emotionally raw and I find my thoughts of you have become a staple in the closet of my conciousness ... Ever present , and I can't seem to shake you...